Dealing with a Breakup or Divorce – tips & tricks

A break-up or a divorce can take a serious toll on one’s emotions and well being. Dealing with the grief of losing your better half is no mean task. This is a person that you shared intimate moments with, had good times together (probably the best), set plans on how to spend the future together and was your shoulder to cry on during your low moments.

When it all turns to dust, your whole world tends to grind to a halt. The pile-up of emotions that follow is overwhelming. One feels deeply hurt, miserable, angry, lonely, depressed, uncertain about the future and in some cases, identity crisis. Even for the party that proposes the break-up, it’s not always sunshine and roses. There are a plethora of reasons that can lead up to a breakup and some may be due to external factors or out of necessity such as a career opportunity. However, there’s are two good old adages to live by: what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger and time cures all. The healing process may be long and daunting, but there are a few tips and tricks that you can utilise to help you get through this heart-wrenching episode of your life.

1. Express Yourself and Confine in Your Loved Ones

Bottling up your feelings is detrimental to your wellbeing. During a breakup, most people tend to keep it to themselves and suffer in silence. There are many health and behavioural risks associated with bottling up feelings. We are social animals, and when we are going through tough moments, seeking social support is of utmost importance. People who love and care about you should be able to offer the crucial support you need. Crying usually makes people feel better. Cry to your loved ones and let them know what you are going through. You’ll be able to receive some comfort and redeem your self-worth. Penning down your emotions is also a good way of letting it all out.

2. Concentrate on the Great Things That Life Offers

It is easy for a breakup to blind you from the things that make your life worth living. Remembering who you were before you got involved with your ex can help you find closure. It is always disheartening when people take their lives due to failed relationships. You should always keep in mind that you have family and friends who truly love you. This fact should really count in your healing. Another fact is that no current situation lasts forever, so you should always have hope for a better future regardless of the present.

Take this period to have fun and bond with your loved ones. You can choose to go on a vacation or your favourite party spot and have a memorable time with them. This can help you unwind and distract yourself from everything that you are going through. Your sense of belonging is also revamped as you are in the company of people who appreciate and care about you. You can also concentrate on improving your current career or growing your business.

3. Take Care of Yourself Now More Than Ever

Experiencing a breakup may be the lowest point in your life. During this period, feeling miserable and hopeless is common. If these feelings are not managed, your mental health will be put at risk. When your mental health is compromised, your physical health is also affected as you are bound to make unhealthy decisions. It doesn’t help to suffer health issues while still undergoing a breakup. You should never lose track of your life. Eat healthily, do some light exercises, spend more time outdoors, take part in hobbies and fun activities that can help clear your mind.

Avoid Drugs

Alcohol and drugs may seem like an easy way out, but they only make the situation worse. First of all, you are prone to make very poor choices, which you’ll definitely regret. Secondly, being wasted and dealing with the pain of a breakup makes you even more miserable.

Taking care of yourself shortens the healing period, improves your confidence and also gives you an edge when you decide to get back into the dating game. You will be better suited to land your dream partner.

4. Don’t Fixate on the Past

Acceptance plays a key role in the recovery process. Once you acknowledge that the relationship is no more, give yourself as much time as possible to get over the loss. However, you should never punish yourself questioning and beating yourself up over what went wrong and what you could have done better. This only makes it harder for you to move on and increases your pain. You might also find yourself making unnecessary calls to your ex and begging to be taken back. Focus on living your life the best way you can. After the healing process, you can analyse your undoings so as not to repeat them in your future relationships.

If the breakup was your decision, chances are that due to various reasons, you might backtrack on that decision. You may start feeling regret and sadness after a short period of loneliness or missing the happy moments you had. This can be really harmful since there was a genuine reason that caused you to break up with that person, and you haven’t given yourself time to adapt to this new situation.

It’s an undeniable fact that a breakup or divorce can be devastating. It doesn’t matter how strong a person seems, the emotional pain is deep cutting and at times unbearable. The tips mentioned above can help reduce the suffering and improve your healing process.