Sometimes when the hurt and anger that prompted a breakup disappears, you suddenly realize that you still have feelings for your ex and want them back in your life again. It can be extremely scary to ask your ex to get back together again, but if you know how to go about it there’s a good chance that you’ll succeed. Following are a few tried and tested top trips and tricks to get your ex back.
Don’t contact your ex for at least a month after the split
The one thing that can damage your chances for reuniting with your ex is if you try to make contact with them too soon after the breakup. Remember that your ex is just as hurt and angry as you are and also needs time to heal. Give him/her enough time to forget about the argument you had that caused the breakup in the first place and time to let those feelings of hurt and anger disappear. This time apart will also help you to establish whether it is actually grief you feel and if your desire to reunite with your ex is true or not.
Concentrate on yourself
The worst thing you can do right now is to shut yourself in your room and wallow in self-pity. Instead, be with your friends as much as possible, throw yourself into your work, take regular walks in your neighborhood or on the beach – anything that will help to take your mind off your heartache. You really don’t want your ex to think that you’re needy and waiting on the sidelines for him her to contact you again. Research proves that if you make an effort to regain a healthy sense of self when your relationship has fallen apart, you will bounce back quickly from the grief associated with your breakup.
Be responsive if your ex makes contact with you
Even though it’s important that you steer clear of your ex for about a month or so, it is perfectly okay to be responsive if he/she makes contact with you during this time. If and when your ex calls you, don’t hang up or refuse to speak to him/her. Mind games or playing hard-to-get will very possibly push your ex even further away from you, which is exactly the opposite of what you are looking for at this stage. Don’t gush when you speak to your ex. Instead, adopt a neutral, casual attitude.
Find out if your ex is still interested
Before trying to get your ex back, you will need to find out if he/she still cares about you, since this will be a good indication that your relationship can indeed be salvaged. There is no need to find out these things immediately, or get your friends to ask your ex straight out if he/she still has feelings for you. The subtle hints your ex sends out when you bump into each other at work or school, or the comments made by your mutual friends will be enough to show you if there is a chance for you and your ex to get back together again.
There are other effective things you can do to win back your ex’s heart, such as:
Being the person your ex fell in love with
Think back to when you and your ex first started dating. What was it about you that appealed so much to him/her? Was it your great sense of humor or the way you dressed? Sometimes when two people are together for a while, they become too used to each other and tend to slack off on the important things that brought them together. Whatever it is about you that your ex found attractive, do whatever it takes to become that person once again. Your ex was drawn to you because of the way you made him/her feel. It was good to be with you then because you were fulfilling his/her emotional needs. If you bump into your ex somewhere, try to make him\her feel good again by laughing and smiling a lot and showing that you do still have that positive side he/she loved so much.
Improve your appearance
This is yet another way to make your ex show an interest in you again. Remind him/her of how awesome you looked when they first laid eyes on you. Buy some new clothes, hit the gym, change your hairstyle – anything that will give you that eye-appeal that you had when you first met.
Your ex was attracted to you at one stage. Take advantage of the above top tips and tricks to get your ex back and there’s a very good chance that you will reunite and enjoy a relationship even stronger than before.