Help: I am secretly in love with my best’s friend girlfriend

You were introduced to your best friend’s girlfriend and liked her on sight. But then, unwittingly and unconsciously you began to fall in love with her. Or maybe, you had already worshipped her from afar and never got the courage to ask her out, and when your friend got together with her, you even encouraged him because you’re such a good friend.

Whatever the scenario, being in love with your best friend’s girlfriend can be a living hell. What do you do? Do you suffer in silence? Only you get hurt that way. Can you make that sacrifice of your own happiness for your best friend? Do you let her know, risking it all, putting it out there? Do you tell your friend how you feel?

What are your options?

Keep silent and bear the pain

Unrequited love is painful. It doesn’t matter how old you are, being in love with someone who doesn’t reciprocate hurts. Some people never recover. They stay in love with the one person who got away and maybe never fall in love again.

Closing yourself to the idea of being able to love someone else only impinges on one person’s chance at happiness. Yours!

Can you take the chance that you stop looking for someone to share your life with because your time is consumed with the girl you can’t have?

If you think you can live with your love not being returned, then do nothing. Grin and bear it.

Spend Less Time with Them

You and your buddy have shared great times, been through thick and thin together. He may even be like a brother to you, but this could be one of those times in your life that you put yourself first. It is not selfish to make yourself a priority. And, this may be in step with the natural course of things.

If your friend and his girlfriend grow much closer, they will want to spend more of their time together, so you will be included less anyway. This should be seen as a blessing in disguise. There is something to be said in the cliché that “out of sight out of mind”. It might be a cliché, but clichés are based in truth. You might counteract that with “absence makes the heart grow fonder” but don’t fall into that trap. Don’t spend your new-found free time away from your biddy wallowing in self pity. Pick up with other friends, make new friends, spend more time doing the things you love. If your mind is occupied and socially engaged, you will have less time for brooding and pining.

Tell Your Mate How You Feel

This could be the hardest step of all. If you do this the right way, your best mate will understand. If you simply stop spending time with them or refusing invitations to join them, your mate could feel snubbed – even if he does have his girlfriend for company. There’s nothing like a bessy mate who understands him like no girl ever could.

Tell him how you feel. Tell him that out of respect for their relationship and your relationship that you do not want to spend time with them as a couple. You can still see each other for guy time. He should have someone who he can rely on to be there at times he is not with his girlfriend – as long as he doesn’t take that for granted.

Dive Into the Dating Pool

There’s nothing like new love to cure old love. You aren’t betraying your old love by moving on and finding someone new. After all, what is there to betray? Unless you made your feelings clear, no one but you knows of your heartache. Get out there and find a new love. And even if you don’t find love for a while, think about all the fun you can be having in the meantime. So many women, so little time!

Also, give yourself the best chance. Do not compare each girl you date with your mate’s girl. You have probably put her on some kind of pedestal that if you allow it to happen will make it impossible for other women to meet her standards. Every person you meet adds their own special touch to your life. Enjoy the experience.

How you proceed when you are in love with your best friend’s girl really is down to you.